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A Raw Dogs History

A meandering tale between half-truths and outright misinformation. This sort of thing is not often gotten away with. The tenor may seem accusatory, but that's because this is all quite dumb, and shouldn't have been allowed.

2010 Raw Dogs.jpg

2010

Interest in learning CRW was high at Midwest Freefall in Ray, MI for a couple of dudes. They started hooking up old 80s canopies and trying to smash them together, with occasional success. A coach was brought in from a demo team in the region, a few jumps were made, but progress … it weren't easy. At the end of the season one of these dudes went to Florida on a quest to find real crw dogs. When he, by a confluence of factors, stumbled upon real and proper crw persons (thanks to Korissa the Fairy Godmother of The Raw Dogs), he also learned the term “newbie suckwad” from his newfound friends! The Florida CRW gang sent our intrepid young shoeless dweeb home with the next step in his quest, “Go north and find Razz.”

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A third degenerate, The Kamikaze, was found at the ZHills bar, looking for something dumb to do. He tried drowning in the swoop pond on New Years Eve, but TK said "that's a bad plan" and dragged him out. "You seem like our sort of dummy. How about CRW?" they asked him... and then there were 3...

2011

What was a Razz, and how does one find it?" They pondered. And then checked Dropzone.com (it was cool then).

 

Well, our intrepid adventurers headed for the hills and found a Razz hiding out in Wisconsin, along with a pack of CRW dogs and pups. "We need a help!" they says. So the cheese people came and helped put on a pups camp in MI. Lots of parachutists tried it (like a couple, really) but after this there were 4 with the Muffins added in... and CRW is a game of one pup at a time, these fellows learned. A new game was invented at this dropzone, and was catching on by the time this camp was held, a game that would make an unmistakable smell on skydiving... Dink Dink.

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They attended the Cheese Boogie, made lots of new CRW friends from around the country, but realized this is a tough discipline to get into.

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Also, "what are cheese curds?" But they're delicious so these fellows learned to stop asking too many questions. They were more cheese-telligent than when they began.​

2012

Pups camps? "Lets try more of them!" They says. So in 2012 they did, and found more friends, including a fellow they called Chip. They started getting better at things like spotting and landing on the dropzone (not great, though, tbh).

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More boogies, more canopies, more Cheese, Florida in the winter...

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The Raw Dogs were founded, and a Dink Boogie ensued. They set a new Michigan CRW record, 14-way where an 11-way had stood since 1981. Also, there was Ooga Booga. Do not ask Raw Dogs about this. Do not volunteer to perform this ritual. You have been warned.

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The Canadians kept coming, as this was the time of The Invasion. Raw Dog Ryan Drew paricipated in the Canadian CRW Record 31-way attempts. With the dollars being equal and the Canadian Jump Ticket costing $35, but $25 just across the border in Michigan... this caused all kinds of trouble, not the least of which was tomato and chipnut smuggling. Naughty.

2013

So, there weren't many pups camps around, and the ones they'd been to, well, they thought they could figure out how to do it right. So they took a shot at it. 

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June of 2013, the Raw Dogs put on their first pups camp. 3 students that were either actively trying to kill their coaches, or spending their time chasing cutaway gear. Making omelets requires breaking eggs though, and this was the start of a learning process that would take a few years to really get right. Actually, it might take a little longer. Get back to them in another 10 or so.

 

More Florida CRW boogies, another, stinkier Dink, and more friends and support from around the country. In May of 2013 the first 6 Raw Dogs numbers were issued to the miscreants that were making things happen.

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They didn't want it to be a numbers society, like so many in jumping, but to be meaningful they wanted to make it meaningful. Those that would join up to make CRW more and better, but most importantly who did they trust with each other to keep each other accountable? No S&TA within 500 miles knew a damn thing about CRW, and they started to realize that flying under the radar of the norms of skydiving meant either keeping each other accountable, or bad shit happening. 

2014

Well, this was a big year. Things started happening for these ne'er-do-well's. It started with a big rental passenger van to Spring Fling, loaded with helmet wearing window licking morons, the Short Bus of Destiny. They brought in some friends from Team Safety Dance to help put on a larger pups camp at Skydive Tecumseh that spring. More lessons learned, and yet more freebags rained. 

The Full Contact Canopy Course was introduced ... all over the area, probably too many. But CRW was OK now. It was getting acceptable and these goons couldn't get enough of the fresh meat.

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The best solstice boogie yet at Skydive Tecumseh, where the newer jumpers thought "coooool" and the experienced ones told them the Raw Dogs were "...a lil bit silly and a lil bit dumb..."

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Dawg Daze had grown into a full-blown boogie, and it wasn't above these chumps to make their stain upon it.

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They put on the biggest Dink yet, featuring another more bigger record for MI at a 15-way formation. PD had been doing the backyard accuracy challenge, so these gumps did a Sex Doll accuracy challenge. Also donkeys too, as well, additionally.

2015

2015 was a transformative year. These dunces started to get in over their britches in every way imaginable. 

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Instead of doing a bunch of small camps, why not one big camp? So Skydive Tecumseh was the plan. However, they had lost access to their airport. "What do we gonna do bruv?" the Raw Dogs asked. But the dropzone said no worries, they have a school bus and a separate airport we can jump at.  Visions of camp counselors in jorts with high socks and matching shirts and clipboards and whistles danced in their heads. They were gonna get silly, and silly they got.

 

It was the start of the re-jortsification of America. Although recollections vary, and certainly this isn't accurate. The Raw Dogs were casually jorting prior but no one recollects why for. Probably because gross.

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Two pups at this camp came from Texas, Jim and Cindy McGraw . "Come to Texas and make a CRW!" They says. But the Raw Dogs weren't sure who was in charge of that. They soon stopped asking that question and did a pups camp in November at Skydive Dallas, despite the distance and lack of knowing WTF they were getting into, but Jim believed in them, and that gave them courage. Also shotball did. And they're dumb.

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The Raw Dogs that year began a process of "Raw Dogging" dropzones. Whereby they would appear unannounced like a shart in the night, with 6-12 dogs and pups, flying their silly flag and setting up Dog House tents in otherwise respectable establishments, showing up to manifest on Saturday morning to say "BOO! how about crw?" If they didn't do the DZ a nervous, they'd cook for them and offer a free CRW briefing like proper dealers. "Is this blood?!" Casey asked about her loaner lightning. "Yes." they told her. And that was, as they say, that.

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There was no Dink boogie this year, but efforts were started to plan the next phase of Dink... A Bandit Dink.

2016

2016. Now they've done it. Anticipating at any moment the authorities swooping down upon them saying "enough!" they continued to make ideas and dumbs.

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Enjoying an ever growing Spring Fling, â€‹A pups camp at Aerohio in May... because what are the odds of it snowing in May? They were more than 0, ask these doofs how they know. 

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A bandit Dink Dink boogie, Return of the Dink, with a volunteer staff on neutral ground. And it drew in all the disciplines. A last minute change from an otter to a short slow caravan necessitated these fellows get out their checkbooks, and to getting a Skyvan. Neat! Also expensive. They learned many things about airplanes, port-a-potties, and boogie running. Lessons learned, hangovers earned.

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Another "bright" idea, pups camp at The Farm in Georgia, IN AUGUST. In GEORGIA. They had a great time, dripped sweat, looked like crazy persons, but more lessons were learned on doing far off camps - if no one is around to keep them jumping... they won't. The camps would no longer be for sale where there wasn't a CRW presence to back them up. 

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Homegrown Boogie in Michigan, long a staple event for The Raw Dogs, starting having more of a regional draw for CRW. They started achieving things over the skies of Midwest Freefall as an end of season sign off to all the skills learned over the summer.

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A few more targeted camps, CSC in early summer, and another camp at SD Dallas (at this point, Spaceland Dallas) in the Fall. Is this magic transferrable? Who's in charge? Only time could tell...

2017

2017 brought even more harebrained schemes. It started with these Raw Dogs "Raw Doggin" Spring Fling. They had shown up early the year prior but now hosting a pups camp at Skydive Sebastian the weekend before the big boogie at Lake Wales, so even more parachuters could be corrupted to the Dark Side prior to the main festivities. This helped turn Spring Fling into a 9-day marathon. Event Organizer Brian Pangburn was quoted as saying "what the heck?"

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More pups camps, back to Texas for a 3rd time, but this one at Skydive San Marcos where the Texas CRW'd community was collecting and needing support.

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Dink Dink Episode VI: Too in the Dink was like a woodstock if everyone wore their undies on the outside of their trousers. The newest gag was the introduction of a beer brewed just for the event: Reserve Mal Ale. Couple of airplanes and a whole lot of bad weather really touched it all off. This year saw the return of Jingleheimer, the Father of Ladder Dinking and the spokesperson for the US Ladder Sports Association. He won the Dink tournament with a mouse trap under his ladder, apparently more scared of rodents than of losing. Also, this event marked the first attempt, the first canopy damage, and the first scars because of the Double Dragplane. Moron that later. 

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There was just enough good weather to sneak in a 16-Way, and this time official, MI CRW Record (CF if you look it up on USPA.org)

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An even bigger, better Dawg Daze and the season peaked with a Homegrown Boogie that coulda torn the cheese right outta your biscuit.

2018

2018 was ridiculous. It started with a short Dink promo and then filming an infomercial that ranks up there with Sham-wows. And it kept getting more dumber from there.

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Spring Fling was another record banger with 50-ways to cap it off, a full on week of Raw Dogged Flung Spring aside. These chodes were allowed to organize other humans in the sky at the big boogies, against any sense of decency.

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Dink was another weird one, as everyone expected.  Chutes and Ladders. Get it? The Drafting Table came through again with a fine, fine beverage called Jortsenweizen. Joe was quoted as describing this beverage as "a hefeweizen, but jortsier." Huh? It was "highlighted" in a series of dumb promotional videos starring Knobs and Choss McKenzie and their friends. 

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Dink also featured the first Wed-dink, an early AM wedding performed by Raw Dogs clergy in front of a balloon and some witnesses. The happy couple, Matt and Tina, also provided condoms for the boogie bags. "Thanks for cuming!" They did jumps, too, as best anyone can recall.

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Before embarking on a tour of Europe due to a mistranslation, some Raw Dogs did a jump onto the beach of Lake Michigan from the newly minted Skydive Grand Haven, an airport they'd set their sights on for the next Dink.  On to Europe, then.

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So Henk tells these fellas there's a boogie in "Estland." Apparently that's what they call Estonia, but it sounded like Iceland to these Raw Dogs. So they're running around that island in the North Atlantic, in jorts, asking strange questions, until they realized they had just under 4300km to go. Well Parasummer boogie was worth it apparently, and they made it just in time. In a sailboat of all things.

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The season rounded out with another great Homegrown Boogie. The ranks of the Raw Dogs grew along the way, at this point 30 Raw Dogs with 26 active.

2019

2019 was for all the marbles, which were mostly assumed to have been lost at this point. A 9-day Spring Fling with many a Raw Dog lending a hand to keeping jumpers jumping, and a camp in the spring with a new project in mind, North Carolina.

Since the Texas CRW'd group was off and running, it was time for new focus and as previous efforts had (barely) educated these turkeys, they needed local presence to keep the pups jumping. With Jon recently reintroduced to CRW and living in NC and Jackson nearby as well, the Raw Dogs started targeting the NC area with camps and events. A pups camp at Triangle Skydiving in May was a wonderful kickoff, and they were awarded their very own shotball upon which to build a community of CRW!

In other news, The Raw Dogs did their first big event at Cleveland Skydiving Center, which was a long established and well regarded institution prior to all this. The Horse and Boogie was a celebration of their Amish surroundings that incorporated all manner of funny business, mainly parabatics goofing. 

And then there was a Cheese Boogie -> Dawg Daze run, and the first Pre-Come to Dawg Daze, where you come to Dawg Daze, but early. A pack of CRW dogs crisscrossing the midwest for nefarious purposes had everyone who knew better on high alert.

And in August, the mightiest Dink, yet. Grand Haven MI along the shores of Lake Michigan, the fusion of awful video production, promos, delicious Drafting Table beer, theme and party aesthetic, and reasonably good weather. It was then that The Raw Dogs realized, there really was No Place Like Dink. And for good reason. It was preposterous. 

Well you'd think that'd be enough of all that, but NO. A Homegrown Boogie for the books followed by a pup camp in Moab, cause why not? Raw Dog Curtis had recently relocated to CO and was aiming to get things going out west. They flew a diamond into Mineral Bottom canyon, it seemed like a good, fun time until they saw ground above them ... but they were committed at that point anyhow.

Now, there are more of them. 

More to Come Soon...

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